A Goodbye to Izzy
My Dear Child,
It was eight years ago that you first lay your head in my lap, like it is now. It was AJ’s idea that I needed a dog. She was the one who pushed me into adopting you. She was one person who always understood me and knew I yearned for a canine companion again. She was the one who found you online. It was her you first found comfort and trust in. She was your human. You came from an abusive past and had plenty of scars to show for it. You were afraid of men, like me. In a way, you were our first child together.
I wasn’t the only one who lost her that night.
I came home with blood all over my shirt. Dried tears on my cheeks. Probably a broken expression on my face. A part of me died that night. You could tell something happened to her, couldn’t you? She never returned. You never let me touch you before that night. You would flinch away when I would pet you, in fear, like I was going to hit you, as your previous caretaker did. Whoever that horrible person was. What I remember of that night, as my back slid down my bathroom wall, you did something completely out of the ordinary. I heard your claws tap across the wood floors and approach the bathroom where I sit on the cold, hard floor. I sat there motionless. I didn’t know what to do. You came over and lay down with your head in my lap. For the very first time. You were the only one there to comfort me that night.
For the next six years, you were always by my side. When I would wake up in the night, screaming in fear, it was the feeling of your wet nose on my face I would first notice as I woke back to reality. It was your presence that made me feel totally not alone, as you lay next to me at night. Your fear of me vanished, and now I have become your loving human. We both lost AJ that night, and yet you were the one who took care of me.
By the time I started healing myself out of the trauma and living again, you were beginning to show your age. You are the first child AJ brought me, and now you are our last one left.
Now, you lay your head in my lap one last time. I know your body is giving up, and your time will end soon. Now, I will be the one by your side, and I refuse to leave you. Just as you did for me that tragic night. I’m here for you now, returning the favor.
Goodbye, my dear child… Izzy.
